HipZOMJoint Comic Book News Round-Up 9/19/18

Lots of rumblings going on in the funny books this week! Wolverine returns! Professor X has another kid! Batman out here showing his dick! Wildstorm is going on hiatus! And books you need to read NOW! Here’s the news foos!Wolverine is back…without continuity & memories attached!

The big hoo-ha for the return of Wolverine begins this week. After tons of tie-in, lead-ins, prequel series, and build up, the first issue of The Return of Wolverine….acknowledges NONE OF IT! Sorry Marvel Zombies but you got played again.

Wolverine returns where he died, in a lab. With no memories. Yup same ol’ Logan.

Da Da Da Da Duh…Bat-Dick!

So the DC Black Label launches today with you guessed it, a Batman book! This is the mature dark and gritty DC Comics line of books. So it’s a stretch for DC to give the first book in the line to the Dark Knight (sarcasm). To show just how dark they are the book had Batman show off…his bat pole in the first issue.

Due to no one wanting to see a dick I will only show the censored image. DC just stop!

Professor X out here rolling away from child support!

Well Marvel continues to piss all over the legacy of Charles Xavier. This time, we find out Xavier allegedly knew nothing about a second kid (the first being David Charles Haller, AKA Legion) he had. The second child is the result of a romantic encounter between Xavier and his ex, Shi’ar Empress Lilandra. The girl named, Xandra, appeared in the latest issue of Mr & Mrs X starring the recently married Rogue and Gambit. The sad part is going to be when they have to explain the seriously messed up X-Men continuity of the last 10 years to Xandra.

Wildstorm is taking a break…WHERE IS MY WILDC.A.T.S & Gen-13 books though?!?

Warren Ellis has announced that his DC Comics series The Wild Storm will be taking a hiatus following October’s #18, intending to work ahead so that the next arc – scheduled as the series’ final arc – can run on a regular monthly schedule.

The Wild Storm will take a two month break after issue 18 to get me and Jon Davis-Hunt some space to breathe for the last run from 19 to 24,” Ellis wrote in his newsletter.

The Wild Storm‘s sister series, Michael Cray, is scheduled to end in October with #12.The planned Wildc.a.t.s. and Zealot series are still in development, with Ellis previously saying he had written the first issue of one.

Ever since the New 52 relaunch we have never fully gotten a proper Wildstorm introduction into the DCU. DC continues to just sit on a goldmine of characters and does absolutely nothing with them. INCLUDE THEM IN YOUR BOOKS DC!!!! Stormwatch and Superboy did a good job at the start of the relaunch but then DC just did away with any mention of these characters. Bring them back, have some joins the Titans or Justice League, just don’t let them sit there on the sidelines like they are characters from Malibu Comics.

You are welcome for the only shoutout you have gotten this century Ultraverse.


Comics You Need To Read Now!

I don’t ever want to hear some sap say comics are just superhero trash. There are a ton of different comics out there. Like these two awesome new titles above. The first comes from the relaunched Vertigo brand and it’s called Border Town. It’s Stranger Things meets Dia De Los Muertos. Its based in the fictional town of Devil’s Fork, Arizona, as a crack in the border between our world and Mictlan unleashes monsters from Mexican folklore. As the residents of the small border town are plagued by shared nightmares, otherworldly radio transmission, and mysterious goat mutilations, racial tensions will become supernaturally charged.  It’s now up to the new kid in town, Frank (Francisco) Dominguez, and a motley crew of high school misfits to discover what’s really going on. The response to the book has been so overwhelming it’s gone into its second printing already of just the first issue!

The second book comes from the mind of The Walking Dead’s Robert Kirkman. The book is called DIE!DIE!DIE!

Kirkman surprised fans with an announcement of this ultra-violent and very mature series the night before its release. The premise of Die!Die!Die! is one steeped in contemporary societal concerns, imagining a secret organization within the United States government whose job is to influence the world through assassination. The full synopsis can be read below:

“Die!Die!Die! promises to be a blood-soaked, no holds barred, action-packed, irreverent story that fans won’t be able to rip their eyes from. We live in an evil world where evil people do evil stuff all the time and Die!Die!Die! lifts the veil on a secret cabal within the United States government that influences world matters through targeted assassination. The world around us is manipulated right under our noses, mostly for the better… but sometimes for individual gain, and sometimes for the fun of it.”

The press release continues:

“So if you’re hurting people, somehow making the world worse than it already is, or even just standing in the way of something good happening… someone could right now be giving the order for you to… Die!Die!Die!”


Pretty straightforward and highly entertaining!


That’s all the news I got for you for but check in soon for some more wacky headlines straight from the funny books only at HipsterZOMBIEJoint.com!